And I'm at the half way point!!!

Technically I am only half way through my chemo regimen (3/6 weekly treatments done) and external radiation (13/25 treatments done) but I'm keeping it positive so I'm celebrating with a delicious Confetti Bundtlet from Nothing Bundt Cakes (I would have taken a pic but I shared with Nathan and he totally crushed it in less than 2 minutes).

My Monday chemo appointment went pretty well.  My platelet count has been decreasing each week (a side effect of the Cisplatin) but was still high enough to receive treatment.  I'm just hopeful that with Labor Day pushing my chemo to Tuesday next week, the extra day will help give my body some time to get some more platelets going.

So yesterday I had what can only be described as a total Ninny McNinnerson moment!!  Up until yesterday I had the same routine each morning.  Leave for work at 7am, arrive around 7:30am, go directly to my radiation appointment at 7:40am, and then head down to work by 8am.  However, yesterday morning I switched things up a bit and went into work early to take care of a study drug dispense that was happening early in the morning.  I arrived at work around 6:45am and immediately started working on the task at hand - ensuring a patient's study drug was ready on time.  I found myself back "on the other side" as the pharmacist taking care of cancer patients, the place where I feel most comfortable.  I was tackling a few issues and before I knew it my co-workers were arriving to work and we were starting our day.  Problem was - I had totally forgotten to go to my radiation appointment!!!  Fortunately, my AWESOME Rad Onc team called me at 8:20am to check up on me and to find out why I didn't show for my appointment.  For a moment during that call I was just stunned.  I explained that I had come into work early and that I had just plain forgot.  I apologized profusely.  They were so understanding and told me to come on up at 9am as they had an opening.  For several minutes after I received that call I really started to mentally beat myself up about this error.  I had went to my radiation appointment every Monday through Friday morning for two weeks straight.  How could I forget something that is so important?!  The perfectionist in me started the typical critical thoughts of "how could you do this", "what the heck were you thinking" and so on and so on.  And then I just paused for a moment.  I thought to myself about how much I have on my plate right now and how my life as I knew it completely changed just a few weeks ago.  I decided to forgive myself and to be grateful that things were able to be worked out pretty easily.  Of course, I also did a quick analysis to determine what I could do differently to prevent this from happening again (I've since added an alarm on my phone to remind me of my appointment each day).

Ultimately, yesterday's mistake made me realize how crazy things can be for a cancer patient and has only added to the compassion that I have.

Week Two in the Books!!

Sharing My Story:  This week I decided to do something that has been really difficult for me - sharing my story with a large group of colleagues.  Very early on in this journey, I made the decision to be open and honest about what is going on not only with my family and friends, but with my large group of pharmacy co-workers.  You see, I am not the typical "James patient" in that I work at the James.  I knew that as a "James patient" people I considered my friends would be the medical professionals that would be caring for me!!  I also knew that as a "James patient" I would run into co-workers/friends in the elevators or be seen in the waiting area before my chemo visits.  So I decided to take the path of openness and honesty (which is really how I live my life anyhow, so it just feels natural to me:).  I began by telling people either individually or in small groups.  As I shared my story with more people, it became a little bit easier but I really struggled with how to tell everyone.  An email seemed too impersonal.  So on Thursday I made a last minute decision to attend a meeting at work and shared what is going on with me with a large group of my colleagues/friends.  And while this announcement was difficult, I felt like it was the next necessary step for me.  I'd like to personally thank my "James Phamily" for all the support!

Nap Time

End of Week Recap:  Overall, week two went pretty smoothly.  My radiation appointments all went as planned and I was able to attend some after work social events this week.   As expected, I've started to experience some of the side effects of radiation (fatigue and GI issues) so I've spent most of the weekend resting and relaxing.  On Saturday, Nathan and I celebrated our 12th anniversary with a little less pizzazz than usual.  We purchased a new coffee table from World Market and grabbed a bite to eat from KFC (the mashed potatoes are just sooo tasty to me right now!!).  Next year we'll be back to the the fancier celebrations.

Update of Woody:  He came home on Thursday, has been continuing to recover, and is doing well.

Now on to week three!!!

Week Two... Ready, Set, Go!!

Monday started off pretty smoothly.  My radiation appointment went quickly and I was at my chemo appointment by 8 am.  My vitals and labs all looked good and by 9:30 am the Cisplatin infusion was started.  Some of my awesome co-workers stopped by to check in on me and shared a few laughs (so much appreciated)!!

This week the premeds didn't make me quite as groggy but I was still experiencing some substantial dizziness during and after the infusion.  In addition, my IV line felt a little different than the first week and my pre-hydration felt "cold" as it was infusing.  The nurse explained that sometimes the catheter within the vein is along side a nerve and it can feel a little strange.  There was no pain and good blood return so she wasn't concerned.  A few minutes after the Cisplatin began infusing I felt a warm sensation in my body.  I had also felt this warmth during the first infusion but chalked it up to being nervous.  I did a quick re-review of the side effects of Cisplatin and did not find any mention of a warmth sensation.  I did a quick literature search and found that patients can experience flushing but couldn't find specifics on a warmth sensation.  I considered that it could've been a hot flash (one of the downsides of pelvic radiation is that I will be experience menopause and all of the dreaded symptoms fairly soon) but since it only lasted during the infusion and no other times I think that is unlikely.  Due to some lingering dizziness, I decided to go home after my chemo appointment and try to rest and work a bit from home.

"I may look like a cat, but actually I'm a person covered in fur"

Unfortunately, Monday evening Nathan and I discovered that one of our cats, Woodrow McMeowerson Bible (aka Woody), wasn't feeling well.  He was vomiting and unable to use the litter box.  Nathan and I decided to take him to the OSU Emergency Vet Monday evening and he was diagnosed with a urinary obstruction with abnormal labs.
Poor Woody had to be admitted so that they could sedate him, place a kitty catheter to release all the pressure, and correct his abnormal labs.  We received a call from the Vet today (Tuesday) reporting that Woody was doing really well but that he would probably need to stay in the kitty hospital for a few more days.

I must end with a shout out to Nathan who totally up'd his "snack game" this week and brought me bacon and a nice slice of sourdough bread (from the one and only Dan the Baker).

Week One Done... CHECK!!

First and foremost, I would like to thank everyone for the calls, texts, comments, cards, and prayers!!  I really do appreciate everything and have the most absolutely AWESOME family and friends!! 

Disclaimer - I have made the decision to be brutally honest about this journey.  No holds bars, no subject too "personal".  So I will go ahead and apologize to those of you who find some topics uncomfortable ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Week one is in the books but it didn't go as uneventful as I had hoped.  On Wednesday morning I learned that cervical cancer + "that time of the month" = some pretty significant pain!!  I will spare you all the gory details but in short, my menstrual cycles have become increasingly painful over the last few months and this week I experienced some of the worst pain I have ever felt.  In addition to the pain I was also experiencing some pretty significant nausea (not sure if this was chemo induced or due to the pain).  Luckily, I was able to see one of my doctors after radiation on Wednesday and was prescribed pain meds and ended up spending all of Wednesday taking anti-nausea and pain meds.  I was soooo out of it!!  By Thursday I was feeling well enough to return to work and tried to maintain somewhat of a normal schedule. Overall I've just been feeling really fatigued and have been trying to get adequate rest.

Highlight of the Week:  Something really encouraging happened on Friday before my radiation treatment.  When the Rad Onc staff member brought me back to machine 3 she told me that the team would be back in just a moment to start my treatment.  She explained that they were going with the previous patient to "ring the bell" - a tradition that is done after a patent's last radiation visit.  During some of my recent visits to Rad Onc, I had seen a few patients take part in this right of passage.  The patient rings the bell and family, friends, members of the treatment team, and everyone in the waiting room all clap and cheer to celebrate this milestone!  I had seen this women each morning this week, being the patient that was treated before me on the same machine, each day she was heading out and I was heading in.  As I changed into the gown, I thought about that woman ringing the bell and although I didn't know her, I felt such happiness for her.  When the Rad Onc staff returned one member approached me with a small metal medallion with an angel on one side and "protect me" on the other.  She said that the previous patient had been given this medallion and that she wanted to pass it on to the next patient.  I gratefully accepted this gift and although I will never know her name, I will never forget that woman.  I look forward to the day I will ring the bell!!

I spent the weekend resting and am ready to take on week two tomorrow!!

Day 1 & 2 - DONE!!

I had totally intended to post something after my radiation/chemo treatment on Monday but time slipped away from me and before I knew it I was tired and ready to get some much needed sleep.

Monday Recap:  
Radiation is pretty easy.  After the radiation "dry run" on Friday, a hospital volunteer told Nathan that he should definitely come into the treatment room before my first session to "check things out".  Nathan complied and I think he was excited to see some of the technology that he doesn't get to see normally (but that he hears about in some of the Rad Onc meetings he takes part in at his hospital in DC).  My Rad Onc team running machine (#3 Scarlet) is efficient and very friendly.  The first thing we do is the safety check - verifying my name, birth date, and that the picture on the screen is me (not the best picture of me by any means but it serves it's purpose😊).  Once on the table, with my legs placed in my personalized bean bag leg holder, the team tugs on the sheet underneath me in tiny increments to line me up, ensuring that the radiation will be targeted and accurate as possible.  During this first session there wasn't music playing but I didn't mind because I was focused on what the machine was doing.  I listened intently to the slight hum that it made with each rotation.  Before I knew it the session was done.  The whole appointment was less than 15 minutes with about half of it being me changing into and out of the gown.

Immediately after my radiation appointment, Nathan and I head up to the 5th floor for my first chemo infusion.  After checking in I was called back and had my vitals checked and was taken to my treatment room (when given the option of a a "chair" or a "bed" I knew to choose "chair" if you want a room with a view - one of the perks to knowing my way around).  My chemo nurse is AWESOME!!  She started my IV, got labs, and ensured that we had everything we needed.  Labs were back fairly quickly, premeds were given, and my pre-hydration was started.  I felt a little groggy about 15 minutes later and chalked it up to one of the premeds.  The chemo (Cisplatin) was ready and started at about 10am. The infusion ran for a little over an hour and we finished up with post-hydration.  I felt a sense of warmth during the chemo infusion but no adverse reactions (yay!!)  I was out the door by noon and may now hold the 5James record for "most trips to the bathroom" - overall I think I made 7 trips but that's what happens when you "pre-game" with water before radiation, continue drinking water during the chemo visit and receive about 2 liters of saline from the IV hydration and chemo (P.S. - yes I am trying to protect those kidney beans!!)

Tuesday Recap:
Only had radiation today.  Same as Monday with the exception of some added music during the treatment.  Soundtrack for today included half of a John Mayer song (not sure of the title because I'm not really a fan) and some Elton John "Bennie and the Jets".

All in all the first two days of treatment went pretty well.

Let the Battle Begin!

I have cancer.  I have said or typed those three words to family and friends several times since my diagnosis.  But today I will say those three words no more!  Today I begin "the Battle" and instead of my message being "I have cancer" my new stance is "I am fighting cancer".

Things I am:  

• Positive.  Yes, I have cried (sometimes a very "ugly cry" and sometimes not:) but for the most part I have focused on the positive.
• A fighter.  I am a strong person and I am determined to beat this!!
• Lucky.  While I do have some pretty crappy luck some of the time (#blackcloud), I really am lucky to live where I do (in an area where health care is accessible), work where I do (The James has some of the best health care professionals to help in my fight against cancer), and have the family and friends that I have (I can not say "thank you" enough)!!

Things I am not:

• A talented writer or "blogger".

This blog has two purposes.  The first is to provide me an outlet to express myself during probably the most challenging time in my life.  The second is to allow my family and friends to take part in my journey if they would like.

P.S. you might be asking yourself about the title of my blog - "On the Other Side".  The meaning is two fold.  It reflects the fact that I am indeed now "on the other side" when it come to being a patient.  I am no longer the pharmacist, a member of the health care team, caring for cancer patients.  I am now the patient that is being cared for.  It also symbolizes the journey I have started to be "on the other side" of this battle!!